30 Ways To Connect With Your Teen

When our children are still young, we can just easily ask them favors or teach them things. But as they grow older, they are becoming independent thus making their own decisions in life. When our kids reach their teenage years, our treatment and parenting style towards can make or break your relationship. This is why it is important to effectively connect with them so that you will not be blindsided of what’s happening in their lives.

 

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“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change”
-Thich Nhat Hanh

1. LISTEN.

Pay close attention to what your teen says. Teenagers often communicate much more than what they may seem to be saying on the surface. Read between the lines and pay attention to tone and body language.

2. Ask them how their day was, every day.

Teens can be guarded, but simply asking how the school day or a club meeting will help them realize that you are interested in their day to day life. Be specific in your questions to encourage real answers:

“How did the other kids in the club respond to your idea about…”

“Who do you usually have lunch with these days?”

3. Be their sounding board.

If you’re a good listener, your teen will share his or her problems. Your teen doesn’t want you to step in and solve problems – that makes her feel incompetent, and dependent, so she needs to push you away. What she needs is for you to listen, and ask a few good questions, so she can sort out how she feels and think about the best solutions. She’ll leave that conversation feeling closer to you.

4. Going on a car trip together?

Let your teen be the DJ! Teens are developing their tastes and many times the books, movies and music they enjoy are a big part of their emerging identity. Let your teen choose the radio station or CD. Even if you don’t particularly enjoy the music, their taste in tunes is a telling window into their thoughts and emotions. At the very least, it gives you something to …

 

 

Read more: http://www.ahaparenting.com/ages-stages/teenagers/tips-bond-close-teen